Have you ever heard of the Japanese term "マウンティング (mounting)"? Male monkeys are known to "mount" each other to assert their authority over the other male monkeys, but Japanese women also do the "mounting" in a more subtle and elegant way.
Below is an excerpt of "mounting" conversation between two solo female customers at a restaurant in a museum. Woman A in her 70 was waiting for her meal to come while Woman B in her 80s was drinking coffee after finishing her meal.
Woman B: I come here almost every week. It's in my neighborhood. I have an annual pass. (Implying that she's better-off than the other living outside Tokyo.)
Woman A: That's lovely. I like here because my husband was a ceramist. (Trying to regain superiority by disclosing her husband's occupation.)
Woman B: Is he famous? (An ungracious response to assert her superiority.)
Woman A: Oh no!! He died 20 years ago, but had many apprentices! (A subtle, but nice response!)
Woman B: I'm sorry, but I've learned pottery for years. Did you read "The Three Kingdoms" before coming here? (An abrupt topic change for what?)
Woman A: No... (She didn't understand what the other was getting at.)
Woman B: You can't enjoy the (The Three Kingdom) exhibition without prior knowledge!
Woman A: So, did you read the....
Woman B: Of course! I like reading, especially reading foreign books. (Oh, does she want to say she reads foreign books and so intelligent?)
Below is an excerpt of "mounting" conversation between two solo female customers at a restaurant in a museum. Woman A in her 70 was waiting for her meal to come while Woman B in her 80s was drinking coffee after finishing her meal.
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Woman A: I like this museum. So, though I live in XX (i.e., two hour train trip), I often come here. Woman B: I come here almost every week. It's in my neighborhood. I have an annual pass. (Implying that she's better-off than the other living outside Tokyo.)
Woman A: That's lovely. I like here because my husband was a ceramist. (Trying to regain superiority by disclosing her husband's occupation.)
Woman B: Is he famous? (An ungracious response to assert her superiority.)
Woman A: Oh no!! He died 20 years ago, but had many apprentices! (A subtle, but nice response!)
Woman B: I'm sorry, but I've learned pottery for years. Did you read "The Three Kingdoms" before coming here? (An abrupt topic change for what?)
Woman A: No... (She didn't understand what the other was getting at.)
Woman B: You can't enjoy the (The Three Kingdom) exhibition without prior knowledge!
Woman A: So, did you read the....
Woman B: Of course! I like reading, especially reading foreign books. (Oh, does she want to say she reads foreign books and so intelligent?)
Woman A: Oh, do you read them in English? (A very effective counterattack)
Woman B: (Being caught off guard) I read translations.... By the way...
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美術館の敷地内のレストランでランチしていた時のことです。それぞれ一人で美術館に来ていた別のおひとり様女性二人（一人は70代でもう一人が80代）が話し始めました。
「｡｡。茨城に住んでるんですけど、この博物館が好きでしょっちゅう来てるんです」
Woman B: (Being caught off guard) I read translations.... By the way...
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They talked like this for ten minutes or so until Women B left. The result of the battle was unclear as both scored a few points based on the following criteria:
- Where they live
- Whether or not they are married
- Their husband's occupation and income
- Ability to speak English
The following could also have been criteria:
- Whether or not they have children
- If so, children's schools, or the occupation/income of sons or daughters' spouses...
The trickiest part is that what they do doesn't count so much, but what their male relatives do does. So, for example, a successful and happy, single female lawyer would be labelled as a loser in this "mounting" battle. Let me give you another example.
My mother is a calligrapher who's been awarded in several competitions. She's now a "board director" of a group consisting of 900 calligraphers, 99% of whom are women. But she often complains that the group decides award winners and promotions not based on the ability of individual members as calligraphers, but based on the results of "mounting," i.e., the social status of their fathers and/or husbands and their financial ability, i.e., how much they financially contribute to the group and/or its top, usually a male. She's particularly harsh against two female members, one who used to teach calligraphy to an imperial family member and the other who is the daughter of the grand master of a Noh school, for being awarded/promoted just because of their families' good social connections. Without weapons for "mounting," e.g., social status and financial ability, it must have been so difficult for my mother to climb the ladder within the group...
So, I'm amazed by her energy that enables her to fight such an uphill battle, but I wonder at the same time why she keeps doing it.... What drives her into that "mounting" and for what? Maybe my mom and the women at the restaurant have too much time to kill......
The picture below is part of my mom's 2m x 2m calligraphy work...
- Where they live
- Whether or not they are married
- Their husband's occupation and income
- Ability to speak English
The following could also have been criteria:
- Whether or not they have children
- If so, children's schools, or the occupation/income of sons or daughters' spouses...
The trickiest part is that what they do doesn't count so much, but what their male relatives do does. So, for example, a successful and happy, single female lawyer would be labelled as a loser in this "mounting" battle. Let me give you another example.
My mother is a calligrapher who's been awarded in several competitions. She's now a "board director" of a group consisting of 900 calligraphers, 99% of whom are women. But she often complains that the group decides award winners and promotions not based on the ability of individual members as calligraphers, but based on the results of "mounting," i.e., the social status of their fathers and/or husbands and their financial ability, i.e., how much they financially contribute to the group and/or its top, usually a male. She's particularly harsh against two female members, one who used to teach calligraphy to an imperial family member and the other who is the daughter of the grand master of a Noh school, for being awarded/promoted just because of their families' good social connections. Without weapons for "mounting," e.g., social status and financial ability, it must have been so difficult for my mother to climb the ladder within the group...
So, I'm amazed by her energy that enables her to fight such an uphill battle, but I wonder at the same time why she keeps doing it.... What drives her into that "mounting" and for what? Maybe my mom and the women at the restaurant have too much time to kill......
The picture below is part of my mom's 2m x 2m calligraphy work...
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| Part of mom's 2m x 2m calligraphy |
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「｡｡。茨城に住んでるんですけど、この博物館が好きでしょっちゅう来てるんです」
「あら、私は近所だから毎週来てますの。年間パスポートも持ってますわ」
「すごい！ 私も主人が陶芸家でしたから焼物が好きで」
「あら有名な陶芸家の方ですの？」
「いいえ！20年前に亡くなりまして。でも弟子はたくさんいましたの」
「それは｡｡。でも私も陶芸ずっと習ってますの。ところで三国志、来る前に読んでらした？」
「いえ」
「予備知識がないと楽しめないですわよ」
「じゃあ、お読みになってこられたんですね」
「ええ、私は読書が好きで、特に海外の本が」
「あら、英語で読まれるんですか」
「｡｡｡いいえ、翻訳ですわ。ところで｡｡。」
「すごい！ 私も主人が陶芸家でしたから焼物が好きで」
「あら有名な陶芸家の方ですの？」
「いいえ！20年前に亡くなりまして。でも弟子はたくさんいましたの」
「それは｡｡。でも私も陶芸ずっと習ってますの。ところで三国志、来る前に読んでらした？」
「いえ」
「予備知識がないと楽しめないですわよ」
「じゃあ、お読みになってこられたんですね」
「ええ、私は読書が好きで、特に海外の本が」
「あら、英語で読まれるんですか」
「｡｡｡いいえ、翻訳ですわ。ところで｡｡。」
と、こんな感じで10分ほど続きました。文章だけだと伝わりにくいのですが、結構なマウンティングでした。（隣なので嫌でも聞こえてきました（笑）｡｡。）
私の母、書道が趣味で、ある書道グループの「理事」をやっております。男性師匠を筆頭にものすごい数の女弟子がいて、皇室につながりがあるとか、旦那が～流の家元みたいな人の奥さんとか、賞を取った時にたくさん「付け届け」できる人が上に行くわけです。受賞パーティーはマウンティングの嵐です。（昔、無理に連れていかれました。）母はお金もコネもなく「非武装」で戦っています。
母にしろ、レストランの女性たちにしろ、何のためにマウンティングするのか、そしてそのエネルギーがどこから来るのか不思議でたまりません（というかうらやましい）｡｡。時間とエネルギーが余ってるのでしょうか？
ちなみに上の写真は母の作品（2m x 2m）の一部です｡｡。
母にしろ、レストランの女性たちにしろ、何のためにマウンティングするのか、そしてそのエネルギーがどこから来るのか不思議でたまりません（というかうらやましい）｡｡。時間とエネルギーが余ってるのでしょうか？
ちなみに上の写真は母の作品（2m x 2m）の一部です｡｡。
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お上品な奥様方の会話、ドラマのワンシーンのようですね〜。
返信削除どこにでもいますね、マウンティングする人達。
他の動物のように人間も他より優位に立ちたい願望があリますよね。
学力、仕事、趣味等様々な才能を見せたいのですね。
そして結婚後すぐ家庭に入った女性はどれだけ素晴らしい男性に嫁いだか、素晴らしい家の出か、ということで自分の存在意義を高めたいのでしょうね。
羨望のまなざしを受けることに存在価値を見出している人、いますよね。
私の周りにもいます。謙虚そうに振る舞うそぶりして子供の学力を自慢したり、よその子がどこに進学するか凄く気にするお母さん達。
話を合わせるの疲れます(^_^;)
書を見る目はありませんが、素人目にもお母様の作品、素晴らしいと思いました。
お年を召しても頭や体を使うことはとても大切ですね。
あ…、なぜそういうことにエネルギーを使うのか…という疑問、もしかすると認知症予防にいいから？(≧▽≦)……失礼しました(¯―¯٥)
rieo さん、コメントありがとうございます。本当にドラマのような「お上品（？）」なマウンティングでした。何度か笑いをこらえるのに苦労しました（笑）。マウンティングする女性に悩んだ時もありましたが、最近はスーッと離れるようにしております。
削除母の書道、お褒めいただきありがとうございます。ただ、あれもマウンティングの産物でごして（泣）。認知症予防でやるなら可愛いのですが、そんな甘いもんではございません。書展の前になると形相が変わってきて怖いです。
母と娘って似た部分もあるのですが、母と娘だからこそ違う部分も多く、マウンティングに関しては随分違うなと逆に感慨深いです。最近ではマウンティングする気概がある限り元気だな、と温かく見守る（笑）ようにしてます！