In Japan, Choose Your Words to AVOID Clarity... 言葉を選ばないとそうなりますね。。。

英語の後に日本語が続きます。

"Choose your words carefully." That is what I wanted to say to someone I talked to several weeks ago. That day, I received a letter from the Legal Affairs Bureau notifying me that my address change registration was complete. I originally wanted to complete the process online, but I couldn't because they don't accept credit card payments. Since I didn't have time to visit the bureau in person, I decided to handle it by mail instead.

I mailed a change request to the bureau. About a month later, I received a letter with a copy of my registered information. I tried to check it to confirm my address had been updated, but I couldn't find any address listed—neither the old one nor the new one. I called the bureau because I assumed they forgot to include a copy showing my new address.

I explained on the phone that the copy didn't show my new address, so I couldn't confirm the change. The bureau staff member insisted that the document was simply a notification of process completion. I reiterated that because the document lacked the updated information, I couldn't use it to verify the address change. However, he just repeated himself. At that point, I realized there was a misunderstanding, so I said this:

"You keep repeating that this is a notification of process completion. But what you really mean is that while it says a process is complete, it doesn't actually prove anything because it doesn't show what change was made. So, to actually confirm that my address was updated correctly, I have to pay an extra fee to get a copy of the new registered information. Is that correct?"

A silence followed, lasting for about ten seconds—which seemed to me a lot longer! Then, he had this to say: "Yes, you could say so if you don't choose your words carefully. 言葉を選ばなければそうなります。(Kotoba wo erabanakereba sou narimasu.)"

WHAT??? I had carefully chosen my words to get straight to the point—asking how to confirm my address change—and I spoke clearly and politely. But I knew exactly what he meant. He meant that I was too clear and straightforward. In Japan, clarity and modesty rarely coexist. Being straightforward for the sake of clarity is frowned upon, even when you're just trying to get things done.

I thanked him for the clarification and hung up. What he said, however, enlightened me. In Japan, people often choose their words to avoid directness, as being too straightforward can be considered rude and disruptive to social harmony—one of the country's most deeply held values. In this culture, absolute clarity is not always the best policy. Therefore, my advice for effective and harmonious communication in Japan is as follows:

For Japanese speakers: Prioritize clarity over modesty when choosing your words.
For non-Japanese speakers: Focus on sounding modest, even if it means being less direct.

Posted on 3/22/2026
Revised on 10/7/2026

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