In Japan, Choose Your Words to AVOID Clarity... 言葉を選ばないとそうなりますね。。。

英語の後に日本語が続きます。

"Choose your words for the right purpose." That is what I would like to say to Japanese people because of what happened several weeks ago.

That day, I received a letter from a Legal Affairs Bureau that notified me of the completion of change of my registered address. I'd wanted to perform the change process online but hadn't done so because the fee can't be paid by credit card. I had no time to go to the bureau to do the address change in person, so I'd done it by post mail. 

I mailed a change request to the bureau by post. About a month later, I received the letter with a copy of the registered information, which I went through to confirm that my address had been correctly changed but I couldn't. The copy doesn't show any address, before or after change. I called the bureau because I thought they forgot to attach a copy of the registered information that contains my new address.

I said on the phone that the copy doesn't show any address, so I wasn't able to confirm my address change. The bureau staff said that that copy was a notification of process completion. So, I said again that the information they'd sent to me didn't contain any changed information and that therefore I couldn't confirm my address change based on the notification. He, however, repeated what he'd told me, i.e., the copy is a notification of process completion. This time, however, I felt something was wrong, so I had this to say. "You're saying you sent a notification of process completion again and again but what you really mean is that you sent a notification of process completion but it doesn't prove anything because it doesn't show what process has been completed or what change has been made. So, in order to confirm if the change has been appropriately made, I need to obtain a copy of the post-change registered information by paying an additional fee. Is this a correct statement?" 

A silence followed for about ten seconds (which seemed to me a lot longer!!). Then, he had this to say. "Yes, you can say so if you don't choose words. 言葉を選ばなければそうなります。(Kotoba wo erabanakereba sou narimasu.)"

WHAT??? I'd carefully chosen my words to get to the point (i.e., to know how I was able to confirm my address change) and spoke clearly but politely but I knew what he'd meant. He meant that I was too clear and straightforward. In Japan, clarity and modesty don't coexist. Being straightforward to ensure clarity is and should be avoided even to get to the point.  

I thanked him for the clarification and hung up. What he said, however, enlightened me. In Japan, people choose words to avoid clarity and straightforwardness because being clear and straightforward may be considered rude and therefore may disrupt the harmony, which is one of the most important values in Japan. Ensuring clarity is not necessarily the best policy in Japan. So, my advice for effective and harmonious communication in Japan is as follows:

To Japanese people: Don't worry about MODESTY and choose your words to ensure CLARITY. 

To non-Japanese: Don't worry about CLARITY and choose your words to sound MODEST. 

If you enjoyed reading this post, read "Modesty matters more than Honesty"! 

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