Being Honest Isn't Always Right 本音と建て前

Japanese follows English.　英語の後に日本語が続きます。

If you’re chatting at someone’s house in Kyoto and are told "ぶぶ漬けでもどうですか（Bubuzuke* demo dodesuka [How about ochazuke])?," the person means, "It's time for you to leave." Likewise, if your Japanese coworker says, "今度またお昼でも (Kondo mata ohiru demo [Let's have lunch together sometime])," he or she really means that they’ve got to go.* Bubuzuke is a Kyoto word for ochazuke.

Another case in point is a response to "Nihongo ga ojozu desune (You speak Japanese fluently)." In this case, you should say, "Iie, madamada desu (No, my Japanese isn't good)" even if you fluently speak Japanese. Such a modest response, or which may sound too modest, makes relationship with others better in Japan because we, Japanese, trust or like modest statements more than honest ones. To put it the other way around, Japanese, asked if they speak English, would never say they do. They would say, "Yes, but a little." Being honest is not always the right thing. 

京都で「ぶぶ漬けでもいかがですか？」と聞かれたらそろそろ帰れ、ということだということはよく知られている。オフィスでも「今度お昼でも」と言われたら、そろそろ会話の潮時と言えるだろう。

同様のことが「英語話せますか？」にも言える。日本語で聞かれたら「はい、でも少しだけ」と答えるのが正解。でも英語で聞かれたら「Yes, I do」が正解だろう。少しでも話せるなら、いや、英語で仕事したいなら「Yes, I speak English」と胸を張って言えないと絶対使ってもらえないし、気合負けする。英語で話す私は日本語の私とは違う。最近、そんな二人をやっと冷静に使い分けできるようになった気がする。