Woman Condition 女が人であるための条件

Japanese follows English.　英語の後に日本語が続きます。

I started this blog to record a process of my personal growth through de-imprinting and this post is a progress report.

Isn’t working hard, doing household chores and paying tax enough for women to be treated as humans? Or are women who have no kids or don't sacrifice their health and future to look after their parents, subhumans? Isn’t it wrong that as men are superior to women, only sons are eligible to succeed the family wrong? And among other things, if women don’t do what they are told to do by men, are they subhumans?

This is why I've been struggling with the relationship with my parents and brother and I blamed only them for this. Yes. They discriminate others based on gender, race, color, sexual orientation, occupation and any other things. My dad says that it can't be helped and okay to discriminate them because it's people's nature. My mom says that it's disgusting to find someone to be a gay. And the last but not the least, my brother once said that it was clear that men were superior to women because a sexual intercourse was an invasion by men of women and men were the conqueror. And the worst thing is that when I tell them that it's wrong, they always look at me as if I were insane. But are they the only reason for this problem? Why couldn't I say no or ignore them? Maybe, I was weak or too attached to themselves and was not ready to cut ties with them. And it may be me who’s been tormenting myself. Now finally, I feel that I'm ready to put this behind and not completely, but almost completely live on my terms and tell that to them.

このブログを始めたのは自分の成長記録を付けるためだが、これはその経過報告。

一生懸命働き、家事をこなし、税金を納めるだけでは、女は人として認められないのだろうか。子供を産み、自分の健康や将来を犠牲にしてまで親の面倒をみないと、人間失格なのだろうか。男の方が女より優れていて、家を継げるのは長男だけだと言う弟は間違っていないのだろうか。そして、言われた通りに行動しない私は人でなしなのだろうか。

両親と弟は、女性、中国人、韓国人、黒人、LGBTを差別している。それが人間の性（さが）だから仕方ない、ゲイなんて気持ち悪い、男と女の肉体構造（つまり肉体的に男が女を征服しているということ）を考えれば、男が女より偉いのは当然、という。そしてそれはおかしいと言うと、気でも狂ってるんじゃないの、という顔をする。そんな関係に私はずっと悩んできた。でも最近、悩みの元は向こうだけではないということにやっと気が付いた。本当に嫌なら無視して、関係を断てばいいだけだ。それができないのはなぜなのか。私が弱いか、まだ親離れできていないのだ。そして、そういう自分が自分自身を苦しめてきたのだ。馬鹿な私｡｡｡でも、やっと最近、心から、自分のやり方で生きていこうと思えるようになった気がする。そしてそれを言えるようになった気がする。