Then, I thought about converting to Zen because the school emphasizes jiriki, or 'own power,' to realize enlightenment. However, I decided against it because I came to realize I don't even know if I want to attain enlightenment.
I attended a Protestant service at a nearby church but couldn't bring myself to go back. I also attended a service at a Tendai Buddhist temple and chanted sutras with the other participants, but again, I couldn't motivate myself to return. Since I often visit the library, I looked for books that might offer some guidance, but I couldn't find any.
Then, it occurred to me that I might be able to believe in 'Yaoyorozu no kami.' 'Yaoyorozu no kami' literally means "eight million deities" but it actually means an ancient Shinto concept (i.e., Japanese animism) that innumerable gods, deities, and spirits inhabit all things, including nature (e.g., mountains and rivers), phenomena (e.g., thunder), and household items. I always stop to bow in front of a Shinto shrine while taking a walk. Does that mean I (can) believe in this ancient Shinto concept?
Then I realized something. I respect Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and other religions, but I don't want to commit to any of them. I also think I figured out why the Japanese language has no single word for 'commitment'—and why the term has to be translated differently depending on the context.
Rather than adhering to an absolute power, Japanese thought is deeply rooted in the idea that 'everything changes'—a fluid worldview illustrated by the famous opening lines below of Hojoki (An Account of My Hut) by the classical poet and author Kamo no Chomei. (Source: 英語で読む方丈記)
日本語 Japanese
ゆく河の流れは絶えずして、
しかも、もとの水にあらず。
淀みに浮かぶうたかたは
かつ消えかつ結びて、
久しくとどまりたるためしなし。
世の中にある人と
栖とまたかくのごとし。
English translation
The flowing river never stops
and yet the water never stays the same.
Foam floats upon the pools,
scattering, re-forming,
never lingering long.
So it is with man
and all his dwelling places
here on earth.
This non-committal approach perfectly describes the Japanese perspective on change, sharing common ground with the concept of Yaoyorozu no kami (the eight million gods). Rather than believing in a single, absolute deity, people in Japan tend to find spiritual meaning in the innumerable things around them and in a state of constant change and flow. Instead of denying the existence of an absolute power, this mindset accommodates various external influences, aggregating them to create something new through a continuous cycle of believing and letting go.
Because of this non-committal, often unconscious mindset, Japanese people are frequently criticized for being unassertive and evasive. I’m quite assertive for a Japanese woman, but I love the idea of believing in the presence of eight million deities. It’s so flexible and convenient (ha-ha)—I can choose one god one day and another the next. Above all, the idea gives me a sense of belonging. To what? To everything around me, of course.
Because of this non-committal, often unconscious mindset, Japanese people are frequently criticized for being unassertive and evasive. I’m quite assertive for a Japanese woman, but I love the idea of believing in the presence of eight million deities. It’s so flexible and convenient (ha-ha)—I can choose one god one day and another the next. Above all, the idea gives me a sense of belonging. To what? To everything around me, of course.
Posted on 3/7/2026
Revised on 10/7/2026
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