In Japan, people often say it's important to read the air, that is, understand the unspoken wishes, and satisfy such wishes not to be marginalized. And this is truer of women. Below is a case I experienced many years ago when working for a large Japanese bank where I understood the intention of my supervisor but did not satisfy it.
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One day, my supervisor told me to come to his office. He told me in the office (which means one-on-one) to be in charge of the vault of the department. I felt something was wrong, so I asked him who the other responsible person was because the bank policy required two staff members to be assigned to this job for security reasons. Clearly, he did not expect me to ask such a question, going on to say that I, as the youngest staff member of the department, was the only responsible staff member and that it had been like that for a long time and therefore there should be no problem.
I don't remember exactly what happened after that but I expressed my reluctance, which was then quite unusual. In Japan, junior staff wouldn't say no to supervisors, but I did. I didn't want to break the bank rule. I didn't want to put myself in a position where I had no one testifying for me in case of an incident (e.g., loss of cash), either. Furthermore, I didn't understand how he could assume no employees (even me) would ever steal from the vault.
He didn't listen. I insisted on appointing two persons in charge, but in vain. So, I refused to accept the task. I didn't know why I was able to say no to the supervisor but I know why now. I wasn't afraid of being marginalized because I was already marginalized since my childhood because I'm too assertive for a Japanese girl/woman.
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Since then, however, things have changed and it's been said recently that people in Japan need to learn assertiveness. Have the times finally caught up with me? I don't know but clearly my life has become easier!
First version: 2018/3/18
Revised on: 2026/2/13
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