Loneliness - Be Alone Not to be Lonely 寂しさを減らす 一人になろう！

Japanese follows English.　英語の後に日本語が続きます。

Do you live your own life? Do you do what you really want to do? If you do, you would never feel lonely, so if you feel lonely, you aren't living the life you want.

Next, can you tell why you want to do what you think you want to do? Have you been wanting to do it since you were a kid? If so, maybe you are living your life and may not need to read this post anymore. Keep pursuing your dreams. But if your answer is to be rich or famous, you may need to rethink about your life and goals because being rich or famous can't be what you want to do. It's how you want to be and money/fame shouldn't be what you go after, but be a by-product of what you do. If you don't have enough money to live independently, you may need to do something you don't like, but if you already have a proper house, food and clothing, why don't you stop to think about what you really want to do?

Lastly, what should you do to figure out what you really want to do? I can't tell you this or that, but can tell you at least one thing - Be alone.

To stop feeling lonely, you need to be alone. Sounds contradictory? But as long as you are always with someone, you would only see your reflection in their mirrors, not the real you. So, why don't you be alone to see the real you and figure out your real goals and what to do from the following day to achieve these goals? It may require some courage to face up to what you really are, but is worthwhile as it clarifies the direction and purpose of your life. The only thing you have to do after that is to follow the direction and do what you decided to do to achieve the goals. You will have no time to feel loneliness.

The most important but difficult thing is to find out what not others, but "you" want. So, be alone to have time to be yourself. People usually don't want to be alone, misunderstanding that being alone makes them lonely, but it’s wrong. Being alone is part of the process of reducing loneliness which gives you in return a real and unique life perspective. So, be alone to stop feeling lonely.

By the way, in Japan, people usually see no difference between being alone (hitori) and being lonely (sabishii), which I believe is a major reason for their weak sense of independence, resulting in various social issues, including sontaku and ohitorisama.

孤独対策です。そして早速質問。したいことしてますか。してたら寂しくないと思うので、寂しい人は自分の人生を生きてないってことだと思います。

もう一つ質問。どうしてそれをしたいか説明できますか？子供の頃からの夢？だったらこれ以上読む必要はないかと｡｡。頑張ってください。夢を追いかけてください。でもお金持ちになりたいとか、有名になりたいとかなら、ちょっと違うかな。だってそれって「したい」ことではなく「どういう状態になりたい」かってことでしょ。それにお金ってしたいことをやった結果ついてくるものではないでしょうか。もちろん、お金のために働くことは多いですが、衣食住整ったら本当にやりたいことを考える時なのではないでしょうか？

じゃあ、どうすればいいのか？ああしろ、こうしろとは言えませんが、一つだけ言えることは「一人になってください」ということです。

寂しさを減らすために一人になるなんて矛盾してる？でもいつも誰かと一緒にいると他人に映る自分しか見えないんです。だから本当の自分と目標を見つけて、その実現のために何をすべきか決めるには「一人」じゃないといけないんです。勇気いります。自分と向き合うって結構しんどいんです。でも価値はあります。だって方向と目的がはっきりするともう悩まなくていいですから。寂しさ感じる暇もなくなります。

大切なのは、他人ではなく「あなた」がしたいことを見つけること。一人は寂しいと勘違いしている人は多いですが違います。「一人」になって初めて本当の自分、人生が見えてくるのです。だから一人になりましょう。寂しさを減らすために。

余談ですが、日本ではこの「一人精神」が不足しているせいで、いつまでたっても個人が確立せず、忖度やらおひとりさま問題につながってしまうと考えるのは私だけでしょうか｡｡｡