Location and Direction 帰国子女と留学生

Japanese follows English.　英語の後に日本語が続きます。

We, the Japanese, often ask English-speaking Japanese if they are "returnees" or have studied abroad. "Returnees" are those who lived overseas when they were kids because of their parent's business (like working at foreign branches), went to local schools and that is why fluently speak English (or other language). On the other hand, those who have studied abroad (ex-foreign students) were born and grew in Japan and decided to study in another country (the US in most cases) themselves when they were high school or college students. Can you see something in common and a difference between these two?

The answers are "location" and "direction." Both are here in Japan, but they are heading in different directions, i.e., returnees heading inward while ex-foreign students outward. Many friends of mine are returnees or ex-foreign students (all females), but most returnees are married to Japanese men while ex-foreign students non-Japanese. In other words, returnees have found their places inside Japan while ex-foreign students outside. Let me explain more specifically using an example....

A friend of mine fell in love with a Japanese guy before graduating from a college. She had studied in the US when she was a high school student. A few years later she broke up with him, went to the US again to get an MBA, met her future husband, who is French, there, and got married. She has been living in the US/France since then. On the other hand, her ex-boyfriend got married to another Japanese woman, who had lived abroad during her childhood because of her father's business. They have lived in Japan since marriage.

She must have felt something wrong with him that he liked "international" women, but not her, i.e., an ex-foreign student, who wants to find a place outside of Japan, but a returnee, who wants to settle in Japan. I believe that for marriage, direction matters more than location because even if you are with someone, it doesn't mean that you are sharing the future with him...

英語のできる人に会うとついつい「帰国子女ですか、それとも留学してたんですか」と聞いてしまいますが、帰国子女と留学生の共通点と相違点について考えたことはありますか。　

共通点は「現在の場所」です。両方とも今、日本にいます。では相違点は？答えは「方向性」。帰国子女は内向き、留学生は外向きです。私の友人には帰国子女と留学生が多いのですが（全員女性）、帰国子女のほとんどは日本人男性と、留学生のほとんどは外国人と結婚してます。つまり、帰国子女は日本に、留学生は海外に居場所を求めるわけ。例を挙げますと｡｡｡

ある友人が学生時代に恋に落ちました。彼女は高校時代にアメリカに留学したことがあります。数年後二人は別れ、彼女はMBAを取りに再度アメリカに行きます。そこで将来の夫（フランス人）と出会い、今はフランスかアメリカで暮らしています。一方、元カレは別の人と結婚したのですが、その相手は帰国子女。こちらの二人は日本に暮らしています。

彼女、何か違うと感じたんだと思います。だって元カレ、「国際的な」女子が好きだったんでしょうが、彼女の目が日本の外に向いていたこと、一方、その後結婚した女性は日本に居場所を求めていたことに気付いていたんだと思います。一緒にいても必ずしも同じ方向を向いているとは限らない。結婚相手を決める時のポイントだと思います｡｡｡