Beyond AI Translation - Organize Thoughts First! 機械翻訳を超えよう！

Japanese follows English.　英語の後に日本語が続きます。

Japanese love organizing. The KonMari method, i.e., a system created by a Japanese organizing consultant Marie Kondo of organizing your home by getting rid of physical items, is one such example. Japanese organize many other things, too, e.g., shoes, closet, refrigerators, but not WRITING.

Japanese writing has the following features:
- The less said, the better.
- It allows for more than one interpretation.
- It has readers draw their own conclusions.

Let's see this more specifically using the following three paragraphs as an example:

A. 

It is expected that there will be complete control by the same person between the merged corporation and the merged corporation before the merger, and full control by the same person will continue between the same person and the merged corporation after the merger. In the case of a merger in which no asset other than one of the merged corporate stock or the merged parent corporate stock or other assets is delivered to the shareholders of the merged corporation, the merger is deemed to be a qualified merger.

B. 

If the surviving company and the disappearing company in a merger are fully controlled by a single person before the merger and are expected to continue to be fully controlled by that person after that merger, the merger is tax-qualified provided that no assets other than shares in the surviving company or its parent company are distributed to the shareholders of the disappearing company.

C. 

A merger is tax-qualified if the following conditions are all met:
(1) A single person fully controls both the surviving company and the disappearing company before the merger; 

(2) That person is expected to fully control the surviving company after the merger; and 

(3) No assets other than shares in the surviving company or its parent company are distributed to the shareholders of the disappearing company.

Their sources are all the same, i.e., one Japanese sentence. (If you are interested, see the "source" sentence below). A is "word for word" translation by Google. B is my draft translation. C is also mine, but after being re-written by myself.

Japanese generally prefer B to C because B is similar to the flow of their thoughts, i.e., less organized. But that's normal in Japan as Japanese speaking/writing puts the burden of understanding messages on the receiver of the message, not the sender.   

However, as a result, a strange thing could happen according to Soseki Natsume, a globally known Japanese novelist for his novels "Kokoro," "Botchan," "I Am a Cat." He is said to have said that the Japanese translation of "I love you" should be "月がきれいですね ("The moon is beautiful)" because no Japanese would say so to express their love for someone. They would say "月がきれいですね ("The moon is beautiful)" instead. So, if some Japanese said to me, "月がきれいですね ("The moon is beautiful in Japanese"), should I take it as his expression of love for me? This Natsume's way of thinking is still popular in Japan as a modest and elegant (奥ゆかしい [okuyukashii]) way of expressing feelings...

In a nutshell, Japanese interpreters and translators as well as English learners need to learn first how to organize the flow of thoughts before English skills...

I wrote about a similar topic from a different perspective in "Simultaneous Interpreting, Skiing and Yakuza."  

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翻訳（英文）チェックを頼まれていつも思うのは、翻訳より文章構成に問題があるということです。これって結構致命的で、日本語をそのまま訳しているとネイティブには読んで（聞いて）もらえなくなるという現象が起こります。例を挙げますと、上のAからCの3つの文、全て以下の同じ日本文の翻訳です。

原文 (source sentence)
「合併前に被合併法人と合併法人との間に同一の者による完全支配関係があり、かつ、合併後に同一の者と合併法人との間に同一の者による完全支配関係が継続することが見込まれている場合の合併で、被合併法人の株主等に合併法人株式又は合併親法人株式のいずれか一方の株式又は出資以外の資産が交付されないものは適格合併に該当することとされています。」

AはGoogle翻訳、Bは私のドラフト翻訳、CはBを基に私が書き直したものです。英訳を依頼してくるのがネイティブの場合、Bでもダメで、Cまでやって最低レベルです。でも、日本人はBを好みますね。Cだと余計なことをして｡｡｡と思われます。

ただ、いつも思うんです。どのレベルの翻訳が求められているか、読み手が誰かにもよりますが（意味が分かる程度か、外に出る文書として使われるのか等）、ネイティブ編集者による直しが可能なレベル（単語レベルではなく全体の文章構成レベルで）にする、つまり「英語としての体裁を整える、読みやすくする」ことをしないのなら、機械翻訳で十分ではないかと｡｡｡

夏目漱石が「I love you」の訳は「我、君を愛す」ではなく、「月がきれいですね」と言ったとか言わなかったという話は有名ですが、そういう時代は良くも悪くも終わってしまっていると思います。通訳者と翻訳者の知られざる苦しみについては「同時通訳とスキーと褒め殺し」もお読みください！自戒の念を込めて書きました｡｡。

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