Harassing Husband Syndrome in Japan 夫源病

Japanese follows English.　日本語の後に英語が続きます。

Menopause related symptoms are not unusual. But here in Japan, they may be caused by husbands who don't lift a finger at home, telling wives to thank them for providing for them.

This is "fugen byo, i.e., an illness caused by husbands," a professional diagnosis for Ms. Emiko Kaminuma, a Japanese female comedian, who has been married for over 40 years. According to the diagnosis, her various physical symptoms, such as depression or high blood pressure, are not due to menopausal disorders, but due to harassing husband syndrome.

Are you worried about yourself? If so, why don't you try this checklist below to see how many items apply to your husband? If more than seven apply, he is definitely the cause of your problems. If five to seven, he may be. If four or less, thank God, he's not. By the way, this is similar to retired husband syndrome, but different in that Japanese wives suffer from various symptoms even before their husbands retire......

- He is nice to others, but grumpy to you and children.
- He is always bossy to you.
- He doesn't do any household chores, but complains.
- He thinks that you and children owe him because he provides for them.
- He rarely says "Thank you" or "I'm sorry."
- He often checks your plan and schedule.
- He has few friends or hobbies outside of work.
- He doesn't want you to go out by yourself.
- He sees himself as a "good husband" doing household chores and child rearing.
- He changes when behind the wheel.

Luckily, two apply to my husband, though nine to my dad, which made me realize why my mom was always nagging several years ago. But in my parents’ case, the cause was not only Dad, but also Mom. She believes that men shouldn't be talkative or do household work. She also believes that men are superior because they provide for wives and children and so on. After all, most of her illness is caused not by her husband, but by herself....

更年期障害なんて珍しくもないが、日本では、家事をしない、養ってやってるから感謝しろという夫が原因で起きるらしい。上沼恵美子さんが発症しているそうで、それによると、うつや高血圧等の更年期障害の症状、実は「夫源病」かもしれないというのである。ということでチェックリストをお試しあれ。4個以下はセーフ、5～7個は予備軍、8個以上は夫源病だそうです。

- 人前では愛想がいいが、家では不機嫌
- 上から目線で話をする
- 家事に手は出さない（手伝わない）が口は出す
- 妻や子どもを養ってきたという自負が強い
- 「ありがとう」「ごめんなさい」のセリフはほとんどない
- 妻の予定や行動をよくチェックする
- 仕事関係以外の交友や趣味が少ない
- 妻が1人で外出するのを嫌がる
- 家事の手伝いや子育てを自慢する自称「いい夫」
- 車のハンドルを握ると性格が一変する

ちなみに私の夫は2つ、父は9つ。道理で母が数年前に愚痴ってたっけ。大変でした。でもこれって父だけではなく母も原因だと思う。だってうちの母、男は無口がいい、男子たるもの家事するべからず、稼いでいる方が偉い、と考えるような人。ということは自源病っか。