Let Go & Give Up おひょいさんの執着

Japanese follows English.　英語の後に日本語が続きます。

Obsession is scary.

I saw a TV program a few weeks ago about an actor who had died last year. He was known to be cool not only as an actor but also a person. He had a bar in which many celebrities gathered and was called "Ohyoi-san" because he often disappeared freely from the bar without saying anything, which is described as being "hyoi" in Japanese.

The problem is that he disappeared in a "hyoi" manner from not only bar customers but also his family, leaving his wife and two children to marry another woman. Although he might have a reason, it was natural for his family to be angry with him, but surprisingly his son took him in to take care of him to figure out why he had abandoned his family.

The program described his family, in particular, his son as a good-hearted people and Ohyoi-san as someone who had died happily surrounded by such people. But to me, this is a story that a child is obsessed with his or her parent. Children see their parents as guardians, believing that they never betray them, which is obviously wrong. If parents were such good people, we wouldn't see news about abuse or neglect. I was aware of this simple fact several years ago by learning to let things go, i.e., stopping thinking about why this or that had or hadn't happened to more focus on making sure that I can do whatever I want do in the way I want it to, and by doing this, realized that I'm not perfect either. Japanese have no concept of letting things go and move on, confusing it sometimes with “giving up." Knowing the difference between "let go" and "give up" made me grow and this is why it’s fun learning English.

先日テレビを見てたら、おひょいさんこと藤村俊二さんの特集をやっていた。ひょうひょうとしたおひょいさんのことは嫌いではなかったが、少し気になったのは番組のあり方。別の女性と結婚するために妻と子供のもとから去った後、全てを失って帰ってきたおひょいさんを息子さんが引き取り、看取ったことを感動的な親孝行番組のように報じていた。

息子さん、引き取った理由を「自分達を置いて出ていった理由を知りたかった」とおっしゃっていたが、その答えを得ることはできなかったようだ。番組ではおひょいさんと、彼を温かく受け入れた息子さん、娘さん、奥さんとの再会を心温まるお話として描いていた。でも私から見ると、これ、自分を捨てた親への執着にしか見えないのです。子供って親は自分を裏切らない、守ってくれるって思ってますよね。でも親ってそんな偉いもんではないと思います。（もちろん例外はあると思いますが。）私も数年前にやっとそれに気付き、ついでに自分もそんなに大したものでないことに気が付きました。そのきっかけが let it go です。日本語にはない概念ですね。あきらめるとも違いますし。でも、let go して、過去のことをあれこれ考えるのをやめて自分のやりたいことに専念できるようになると、前に進めるようになりました。英語を学んでいるのはこういう喜びがあるからかもしれません。