Thank You For Bullying Me! いじめの結果

Japanese follows English.  英語の後に日本語が続きます。

People say that there are things which you will understand only later on and such a thing happened to me.

I was bullied in a high school. Twenty years after graduating from the school, one of the bullies, apologized to me. He said that he was sorry and told me the ringleader’s name. The boy was quiet and never bullied me directly, but manipulated others, which I hadn’t realize until that time. But what surprised me more was that the ringleader had said a few years after the graduation that he was sorry for bullying me but wouldn’t apologize for it and that he would live with that fact for the rest of his life.

Recently I've been accused by my relatives for seeing less of my parents. (I just have been trying to keep a distance from them for a good reason.) But in Japan, it’s still "normal" that a daughter lives with, or often sees, her elderly parents to take care of them even if it costs her physically, financially or career-wise while the eldest son, if any, being appreciated and rewarded only for his existing even if he doesn’t do anything. As a "good girl," I suffered from their unfounded accusations because I couldn’t confront them, i.e., I would have done anything to avoid confrontation. But I won’t do that anymore because it would kill me mentally and ultimately physically.

I wouldn't forgive the ringleader, but at the same time, have some respect for him because he at least acted according to his belief, whether good or bad. He has the ability to think and make decisions on his own and in that sense, he's less automatonic than those who followed his orders without thinking. Of course, he has to accept the consequences of his decision. I wish him gook luck. 

Going back to my case, I'm ready to accept the consequences of my decision, i.e., living with the accusation that I neglect my parents, for the rest of my life to pursue my belief that everyone has the right to live their life. God knows the truth.

高校生の時、いじめを受けていた。卒業後20年以上していじめっ子の一人が謝ってきたのだが、いじめの首謀者は〇〇（以下、太郎君）だという。ところがもっと驚いたことに、卒業して数年後、太郎君はこう言っていたというのだ。いじめたことは悪いが謝らない。自分がいじめをしたという事実を一生抱えて生きていくと。

ところで最近、親と距離を置いていることで親族から責められている私。ただ自分の人生を歩みたいだけなのに聞く耳はなく、もっと来いとか、一緒に住んで面倒みろなんて、体力的にも精神的にも限界である。しかも何の報いもない。長男は何もしなくてもいいみたい。これが日本の姿なのでしょうか。

太郎君のこと、許す気はないけど、自分で選んだ決定に責任を負う姿にはある種の敬意を表します。私も親を見捨てる酷いやつといろいろ言われると思いますが、それを引き受ける覚悟ができました。太郎君、ありがとう。