Elizabeth Better Watch Her Back.... ご注意あれ、エリザベス！（仮定法現在の練習も兼ねてます）

Japanese follows English. 英語の後に日本語が続きます。

"If you had a gun and two bullets, and saw a king cobra and Elizabeth right in front of you, which would you shoot first?"

That was the question Bob asked me and Mari. Bob was an accounting staff member of an American company I used to work at. He was around my age, straightforward but gentle, and easy to work with, but one day he got very angry, asking us that question. 

Elizabeth was secretary to then CFO. You may think she's American, but she's not. She's Japanese, but was called Elizabeth because of a company rule that required all the Japanese employees to have American first names whether they spoke English or not. The rule aimed to integrate the Japanese employees with the English speaking coworkers. (Luckily or unluckily, I didn't have to have such a first name because I joined the company after the rule had been abolished😁) 

Elizabeth was in her 40s, very energetic and assertive unlike ordinary Japanese people. She was also different from other Japanese in that she didn't use honorific forms of Japanese (e.g., desu or masu), which offended almost all the Japanese coworkers, resulting in them hating her. 

But it didn't stop there. She'd also made almost all English speaking colleagues her enemies by being too eager to minimize her workload. She ignored emails which she thought unimportant or from someone she thought unimportant. If they came to her to ask her to do something, she told them to email her, then ignoring the email. The only good thing about it was that she treated everyone equally. In a way, I admired her fair attitude and strong will to maintain a work-life balance....    

So, I've provided you with every information you need to answer the above question. What say you? Our answers are as follows😁:

Kei (me): I'd shoot the snake!

Mari:       I'd shoot Elizabeth! 

Bob:        You're both wrong! You should shoot Elizabeth TWICE!! 

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以前勤めていた会社にエリザベスという同僚がいました。エリザベスですが日本人です。外資系の会社で英語を話す話さないに関わらず、全員英語名を付けさせられていたのでエリザベス。CFOの秘書だったのですが癖強すぎ！！

先ずエネルギッシュ。そしてはっきりしている、いやはっきりしすぎ？かつ、敬語も丁寧語も使わないので、ほぼ日本人社員全員を敵に回してました。でもそれだけじゃない！外人も敵に回してたんです。日本人にしては珍しく残業しない主義のエリザベスは、重要ではない（と彼女が思う）メールを全て無視。わざわざ席まで来て何か頼む人には「メールして」と言い、来たメールは無視。でもえこひいきなく「平等に」無視してたので、ある意味、尊敬してました。

そんなある日、同僚のボブ（こちらは本当のアメリカ人）が激怒して私とマリのところにやって来て言いました。

「If you had a gun and two bullets, and saw a king cobra and Elizabeth right in front of you, which would you shoot first?（銃と弾を2発持ってて、目の前にキングコブラとエリザベスがいたらどっちを先に撃つ？）」

私：　I'd shoot the snake!（私は蛇を撃つ！）

マリ：I'd shoot Elizabeth!（私はエリザベス！）

ボブ：You're both wrong! You should shoot Elizabeth TWICE!!

　　　（どちらも間違い。エリザベスを2回撃つべきだよ！！）

ボブ、相当怒ってました。ちなみに上の英語、全部仮定法現在です！！

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